My political candidate in 2016 will be...


PEDIGREE AND CRITERIA

I'm pretty proud of my voting record for POTUS.  I sat down and figured it out once, and in my life, I've voted for Republicans about a third of the time, Democrats about a third of the time, and third party candidates about a third of the time.  I don't know how many people can tout such a balanced voting record.  So, since I'm going to consider myself rare, and unbiased (based on my record) the sky is the limit in regard to who I'll pick in 2016.  Everyone is in the running for my vote!  Party be damned!

I don't want to write a book here, so I'll generalize a little instead of writing a candidate-by-candidate description and how they stack up in my eyes.  This will be less "fair" and more pragmantic.  So let's start by determining who we can weed out right away.

There are some good candidates.  That is to say, If you believe that you need to place another human above yourself, by voting to give them rights that you actually don't have to give, so that later they can tell you what to do, and how much it will cost you...well then yeah, there are some good candidates out there...but I digress.

So if I have to pick, I need to pick a winner right?  I mean I've voted for people in the past out of "sending a message" or "principle" and that seemed like it would be rewarding.  But in the end, I just got more of the same, so lets immediately weed out some candidates, in categories, based on electabity:

Loser - Cat 1. - Good Candidates

There are some candidates that might actually be good for the country, but who will never be elected.  In this category of losers, I'll put Rand Paul, Ben Carson, maybe Cruz, Rubio, O'mally and Chafee, that Ohio Governor, The Hewitt-Packard lady, and Vermin Supreme (Google him).  Although these are all fine folks, they don't stand a chance, because they are requiring real world accountability... and they aren't movie stars.  That shit don't fly today.  So see ya later, losers!

Loser Cat 2.  - Insane people  

Now this list will not be exhaustive, but it will include some of your favorite insane people.  People that have no chance of winning.  These are people that are basically running to stay relevant, so they can write a book or keep their "Guest Expert/Commentator" gig on some news show.  This list includes loonies like: Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, Jindal, Lidnsey Grahm, Joe "uncle touchy" Biden, 

*Special Mention Insanity category* - Bernie Sanders - His media/art is truly memes.  I've never seen anyone have better memes.  If I was voting strictly based on memes: Bernie would be my guy.  But I'm not a "meme-voter".  I like to look at a guys record.  The guy is a self proclaimed socialist.  Now as much as I admire his choice to cut through the bullshit, and actually call himself what he is: "the Dude can't abide."

Socialism by definition means more govenment in my life. More regulation.  Higher taxes.  More restrictions, fees, tariffs, red-tape, etc.  I can't vote for a giant step backward, to a repeatedly failed 19th century concept, towards more government, when I already feel we have too much government. So sorry Meme Sanders, but you are out too - but cool angle!

Loser Cat 3. - Sideshows

This category includes your Chris Christie's, your Rick Perry's, and your various and sundry candidates that have thown their hats into the ring with no chance of winning.  Most come from political pasts.  Most are under indictment or investigation and represent a clear nod to the status quo.  No thank you.  I realize other candidates fit nicely into this category too, but I'm keeping it simple.

Loser Cat 4. - Oligarcy

Jeb and Hilary comprise this category exclusively.  Both are entrenched, life-long, do-nothing, entitled, jaded, establishment, bought-and-paid-for, oligarcy, shoe-ins.  I can't knowingly back obvious lifelong corruption, influence, violence, privledge and power with proven track records.  I just can't.

SO WHO'S LEFT?

Well, funny you should mention "left", as that group has had a big influence on my decision.  You see, for the past 7 years I feel like I've done nothing but fight with people that call themselves "the left" on the topic of process.

I hear, "Our system is outdated" a lot.  Or, "It's too old and cumbersome."  And these conversations usually start when someone suggests that it is proper to run a country using things like Czars, or "Pen and Phone" legislative techniques.  The proponents of these shortcuts usually say, "Well Obama can't get anything done otherwise, because the Republicans block everything he tries to pass.  So to lead, he needs to just go ahead and pass the things he needs to pass."

So why do I tell you this lovely story from "the left"?  Because it's payback time, bitches!

It is going to do my heart good to see (or even imagine) the faces of all those folks that have talked to me about the "righteousness of shortcircuiting the system", when they hand the keys to the country...and all that power they wanted for Obama...over to...my candidate...that maniacal bully from fifth grade that stole your lunch money...you know him...you love him... DONALD TRUMP!


DECISION FOOTNOTES

I.   I need to see the complete hypocracy of those who have argued against this "old" system for the Obama years, as they now completely change direction 180° as that "process" places a tyrant of epic, juvenile proportions in the same chair as the Democratic Messiah, that sat there for the previous 8 years.  I need this in my life!

II.   You could make an argument that my criteria for making a choice is "unconventional".  But when you know that the system is gamed, and there is no "good team or bad team", why does it make a difference?  Is my selection system any more unconventional than picking a person because they have a "D" or "R" in front of their name?  Really?

III.   I'll be honest, I very nearly went for DEEZ NUTZ, because of the electability thing.  That's a strong candidate there!  But in the end, I choose vengeance over substance: because isn't vengeance really what politics is all about?

Somehow Omitted: My #2 choice (or possible V.P. candidate) Deez Nutz.


Somehow Omitted: My #2 choice (or possible V.P. candidate) Deez Nutz.


*DISCLAIMER - like anything political, everything said above is total bullshit.  I stand behind none of it, and will most likely change my mind repeatedly in the coming days.  In other words, the above is a complete waste of your time and the electrons used in it's display.


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